


Gimme That Damn Phone!

by touchinghearts



Category: SHINee
Genre: Crack, Humour, M/M, One Shot, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-29
Updated: 2011-03-29
Packaged: 2017-10-17 09:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/175215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/touchinghearts/pseuds/touchinghearts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jonghyun is screaming as he runs for his life from SHINee’s deranged – in his opinion – leader. Post-RDD era [specifically, during Hello Baby].</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gimme That Damn Phone!

“Someone heeeeeeeeeeeeelp!”

Minho looked up from his book in surprise when he heard the terrified shout echoing through the apartment. He looked around but all he could make out was the stomping of feet outside the bedroom. He hesitated, wondering if he should get up and check things out. Had something happened to Taeminnie?

“Kibummmieeeeeeee!”

Minho turned his head so he could see Kibum who sat on Taemin’s bed, idly sewing out another new creation. The shorter rapper didn’t even glance up as the sound of his name reverberated through the walls a second time, deeming his work more important than the desperate plea of help from outside.

“Kibum?” Minho said, setting his book down in his lap.

“An _insane freak_ is after meeeeeeeeeeee!”

“Hmm?” Kibum hummed absently, squinting at his needle.

“That sounds like Jonghyun-hyung,” said Minho uneasily.

“Minhooooooooooooo!”

“That’s because it is Jonghyun-hyung,” said Kibum in response, not even bothering to look up.

“He sounds...kind of distressed.”

“Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!”

“More like in mortal pain,” Kibum corrected, pulling his needle up.

“Shouldn’t we go check on him or something?”

“Why should we?”

“He’s trying to _murder_ me!” Jonghyun’s wail practically shook the walls of the bedroom.

Minho paused. “Sounds sort of serious,” he said pointedly.

Kibum sighed as yet again his name was howled out. He set down his sewing, carefully cushioning the needle and crawled from Taemin’s bed.

“Fine,” he said in exasperation. “Let’s go see what the blond dinosaur’s gotten himself into now.”

Minho said nothing, choosing instead to follow. They stopped when there was a loud bang from outside the room. Glancing at each other, they peeked out the door cautiously and, upon seeing no immediate threat, stepped out. They promptly froze when Jonghyun shot past them at the speed of lightning.

“I’m going to dieeeeeeeeeee!” he was screaming at the top of his lungs, diving into the kitchen.

Minho and Kibum blinked at him in shock, wondering what on Earth had possessed their lead vocalist. They blinked again when they heard a muffled, pained moan behind them and turned to see the door of the bathroom creak open. Jinki limped out, rubbing his shin with a grimace.

“Hyung?” Minho ventured hesitantly.

Jinki either didn’t notice him, which was practically impossible, or was ignoring the tall rapper as he stomped forward with a scowl on his face. He passed Minho and Kibum without a second glance, eyes trained on Jonghyun who had, for some unknown reason, turned the kitchen into his defence base.

“Yah, Kim Jonghyun, how dare you slam the door into me!” the leader growled.

Jonghyun raised the chair he was clutching in front of him, waving it threateningly. “Don’t come any closer,” he warned.

“Will you stop that?” Jinki glared, still rubbing his shin. “Just give me the stupid phone and I won’t do anything!”

Kibum and Minho exchanged another glance, bewildered. The latter opened his mouth to inquire what the hell was going on but was interrupted before he could say a word.

Without warning Jinki charged at Jonghyun, who let loose another blood-curdling scream and, out of a misguided sense of self-preservation as he claimed later, hurled the chair forward. Jinki instinctively veered out of the way in surprise, causing him to lose balance and trip. Jonghyun took full advantage of the distraction and launched himself out of the kitchen.

“He’s going to kill meeeeeeeeee!” the blond shrieked.

Jinki was up and running a moment later and started to chase the screeching Jonghyun. The lead vocalist somehow managed to elude Jinki’s murderous hands each time he tripped or paused to wince at the pain in his shin. He yelped when Jinki just barely caught the edge of his jacket and gave a sharp pull. Without ever stopping, Jonghyun slipped out of it and took off, leaving Jinki to stand there dumbfounded. The leader didn’t stay confused for long; he immediately resumed his pursuit, tossing aside the jacket without a second’s thought.

“I’m going to get you!” he cried in determination. “Get _back_ here you little—”

Taemin, splayed out on the couch, didn’t even blink when Jonghyun sped past him, Jinki hot on his heels. The blond skidded into the computer room and slammed the door behind him, right in the leader’s face. Jinki pounded on it, calling out.

“Kim Jonghyun, you come out right now!”

“And let you get your dirty hands on me? No freaking way; I happen to _like_ being in one piece, thank you very much!”

“I’ll break this stupid door down if I have to!”

“I’d like to see you try!”

All the while, the rappers of SHINee stood watching, pure incredulity on their faces. The scene they were witnessing would have been hysterically funny if they weren’t so confused. Kibum shook his head, snapping himself out of it and took a step forward. Taemin finally looked up from the show he was watching and raised his eyebrows inquiringly.

“How long has this been going on?” Kibum asked him.

Taemin shrugged. “A little while before the screams of terror started,” he said. “It’s hard to hear the TV.”

Minho rolled his eyes at the magnae’s snarky tone and came to stand beside his fellow rapper. “What happened?”

Taemin leaned back into the cushions. “Not sure,” he said in a way that showed he didn’t really care. “They were sitting at the table and then Jonghyun-hyung suddenly jumped up and ran.”

“Get out of there this instant Jonghyun, and give me that stupid phone!” Jinki snapped, slamming his fist on the wood.

“I’d rather wear Kibum’s ugly Spongebob PJs!” Jonghyun yelled back defiantly.

Kibum’s eye twitched. “Hyung, I can get an axe if you like,” he said to Jinki, glaring at the door. Minho elbowed him. Kibum winced and directed the lethal look on him instead.

“You’re supposed to be helping,” Minho said with a frown. “Not get Jonghyun-hyung killed.”

“He insulted my beautiful pyjamas. My _Spongebob_ pyjamas. You can’t expect me to let that go.”

Minho actually agreed with Jonghyun whole-heartedly on the matter – he preferred using the word _hideous_ – but knew better than to say it out loud. Not with Kibum in the hearing range anyway.

“Get your revenge later,” he said. “Right now, we have to fix this before Manager-hyung gets back.”

Kibum rolled his eyes and didn’t make a single move. Minho’s frown deepened but he didn’t coax him further. Instead, he approached Jinki cautiously.

 “Hyung?” he said.

Jinki glanced back, gave him a quick smile, before returning to his fruitless attempts at trying to batter the poor door down.

“Come out right now, Jonghyun!” he yelled, kicking as hard as he could. Minho sighed when the leader yelped in pain from the action and started hopping on one foot. At least Jinki’s smile had put his earlier worries of possible bloodshed at ease.

“Hyung, will you tell me what’s going on?” he asked.

“Nothing’s going on, Minho-ah, just go back to whatever you were doing,” Jinki said cheerfully before ramming the door again. “Get _out_ of there you troll!”

“How _dare_ you call me a troll!”

“Fine, I’ll call you pipsqueak instead!”

Minho reined in his amusement before it got the better of him and took in a deep breath. Time to switch from caring donsaeng to assertive boyfriend. He reached out a hand and tugged at Jinki’s shoulder until the older man was looking at him.

“Hyung,” he said with just a hint of command in his tone, arching an eyebrow. “Tell me what’s going on.”

Jinki stared up at him with wide eyes. Behind them, Taemin started coughing which sounded more like poorly-hidden laughter. It was cut off a second later when Kibum threw him a look. Minho ignored the both of them, his dark-eyed gaze boring into the leader’s.

Jinki’s chocolate orbs fell to the ground, unable to hold the taller boy’s stare. “It’s nothing,” he insisted unconvincingly.

“It’s something,” said Minho without missing a beat. He tilted Jinki’s chin up, forcing his older lover to look at him. “Now, tell me why you were chasing Jonghyun-hyung.”

Jinki hesitated. “...He wouldn’t give me his phone,” he finally admitted reluctantly.

Minho had already drawn that shaky conclusion. “What do you want with his phone?”

It took a few seconds before the leader replied. “...I wanted to delete something.”

Minho frowned. “Delete what?”

Apparently Jonghyun had been eavesdropping because he answered for Jinki. “He wanted to delete that children’s story we did for Yoogeunnie!” he yelled from the other side of the door. “I recorded some parts remember? He wants to get rid of them.”

It was Kibum’s turn to frown as he stepped forward. “What for?” he said in confusion.

Minho released his grip on Jinki’s chin but didn’t move away. He gave the other an inquiring look, silently asking the same thing. Jinki bit his lip as his cheeks coloured. His eyes flicked away, obviously embarrassed. He was silent for a while until his boyfriend softly nudged him. The older man winced then finally mumbled something under his breath.

“What?” The tall rapper leaned in close, trying to catch what the leader was muttering.

Jinki still refused to look at him though he did redden further. “He said he was going to put the recording of you and Taeminnie on the internet,” he repeated moodily.

Taemin looked up at the sound of his name. He looked surprised, which was definitely what Minho felt at the moment.

“Recording?” the rapper echoed, clueless.

“The one where you and Taemin-ah make out,” Jonghyun called helpfully.

Jinki glowered as Minho blinked, realisation setting in. Kibum sputtered and resumed glaring at the computer room door.

“They didn’t _make out_!” he snapped.

“Oh, yes, they did,” Jonghyun replied smartly. “Or at least Lee Mongryong, who’s acted by Minho, and Chunhyang, who’s acted by Taemin, had an _amorous_ encounter. In the end, they still made out.”

Taemin grimaced at the memory as well as the wording while all Jinki could do was give the invisible Jonghyun a dirty look. Kibum, on the other hand, was scandalised. He rounded on Minho.

“You made out with my little Taeminnie?!” he shrilled.

“No!” both Minho and Taemin refuted immediately. Minho continued with, “I just pretended to. From the back view, it looked like we were kissing but any _idiot_ can see that we weren’t really.”

“Who are you calling idiot?” SHINee’s lead vocal sounded indignant.

Minho didn’t bother to answer him. “Point is, we didn’t actually kiss. It wasn’t real.”

“It looked pretty real to me~” Jonghyun said in a sing-song voice, sounding much too happy for comfort. Jinki’s glowering intensified.

“Hyung, please don’t go around spreading nonsense,” said Taemin with a dark look.

Jonghyun couldn’t hear him very well due to his location. “What?”

Minho sighed and decided to ignore the other three. He returned his gaze to his boyfriend.

“Hyung, why would you want to delete that recording for?” he asked.

Jinki gave him an incredulous look that clearly showed he couldn’t believe the taller boy hadn’t figured out why on his own. But then he deflated and, to Minho’s horror, started to pout.

Assertive or not, Minho did not do well when Jinki pouted.

“Hyung?” said the rapper frantically. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Jinki sniffed and Minho started panicking.

Kibum got it first.

“Wait, wait, wait,” he said, staring at his sullen leader. “No way. Were you _jealous_?”

Jinki flushed. Minho froze. “Jealous?” he said, blinking yet again.

“I can’t believe this,” Kibum muttered, a hand to his face. Inside the computer room, Jonghyun began howling with laughter. Taemin just stared. “ _Normal_ people would get jealous when it’s _happening_. _You_ , on the other hand, get jealous a _week_ later and over a stupid video in Jonghyun-hyung’s phone.”

Jinki shifted uncomfortably, bottom lip quivering. Kibum gazed at him critically then turned to Minho.

“You,” he said imperiously. “Talk some sense into him. I want nothing to do with this. I’m going to go finish my new design.”

Minho watched as his fellow rapper walked away, dragging a mute Taemin along. Jonghyun had quieted down. The tall boy looked back to Jinki who was staring down at his feet.

“Hyung,” he said gently. “Is it true you wanted to delete that video Jonghyun-hyung took because you were jealous?”

Jinki glanced up at him for a split second before looking down again. “Maybe,” he said in small voice.

Minho felt like laughing. He restrained himself and smiled instead, reaching out and dragging his ashamed boyfriend into a tight embrace. Jinki tensed in surprise then gradually relaxed, laying his head against Minho’s collarbone.

“Idiot,” said Minho affectionately. “There’s nothing you have to be jealous of. You know me and Taemin don’t have anything. I like _you_.”

Jinki’s pout had returned full-force when he looked up. “I know, but still...” He trailed off.

“You don’t want Jonghyun-hyung to put it on the net?”

Jinki was silent and then he nodded slowly. This time Minho really did laugh. Jinki looked at him.

“Aren’t you mad?” he asked.

“No.” Minho’s large eyes twinkled down at him. “I think it’s cute that you’re jealous.”

Jinki blushed and shoved him without any real aggression. “I’m sorry.” His pout enhanced itself dramatically. “But I got really annoyed when he said he was going to put it on the website. The fans would go crazy and then they’ll leave all those comments about how good you and Taemin look together and how you two would make a cute couple. I don’t like it!”

Minho briefly had an urge to pinch the leader’s cheeks but decided that wasn’t really appropriate. Instead, he leaned forward over Jinki’s shoulder.

“Hyung!” he called to Jonghyun as he squeezed Jinki’s waist.

“What?” came the disgruntled response.

“You aren’t going to upload that video on the Net right?”

There was a short silence.

“Can you guarantee Jinki-hyung won’t try to kill me with a spoon like he said he would?” Jonghyun’s voice spoke warily.

Minho raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend who steadily avoided looking at him. “Yeah,” he answered.

“Fine.”

“Feel better now?” Minho said, rocking Jinki in his arms. The leader gave him a shy smile.

“I guess,” he said, wriggling slightly.

Minho returned the smile and leaned down to press his mouth against Jinki’s. The other pushed closer for more contact, making a small sound of contentment. He tilted his head and closed his eyes as Minho’s hand caressed his lower back under his t-shirt. Minho’s smile widened and nudged open his boyfriend’s lips with his tongue.

The door to the computer room banged open and Jonghyun came barging out. Upon setting his eyes on the couple, the lead vocalist froze in surprise before shrieking, “Oh God, my _eyes_! I’m scarred for life!”

“C’mon,” he said, taking Jinki’s hand. “I don’t think he’s going to come out anytime soon.”

“Damn right I won’t!” Jonghyun screeched, clearly traumatised. “Don’t you know there are _minors_ in this house! Do you want to defile Taemin’s—no, forget Taemin’s, do you want to defile _my_ innocence with your indecent acts?”

Jinki smiled as he was led towards the couch. “You think he’s been reading too much of those romance books?” he said. “He can’t stay in there forever.”

Minho shrugged, pulling both their bodies down to snuggle together. “Leave him alone. He’ll get bored eventually.”

Jinki hummed in agreement and settled into a comfortable position with Minho spooned against his back. Without further ado, the rapper reached for the remote and turned on the TV.

Inside the computer room, Jonghyun sank into the chair with a dark scowl and began to sulk.

 

 

That night, the couple were happily enjoying each other’s company in peace and quiet on Jinki’s bed. Minho was reading the book he had left earlier while his boyfriend carelessly played with one of his hands.

“Hyung.”

Jinki raised his head from Minho’s lap and peered up at Kibum. “Yeah?”

The resident ‘Umma’ leaned forward so he could see his leader and held out his hand. A phone was dropped right beside him. Jinki picked it up in surprise as Minho lowered his book.

“Isn’t that Jonghyun-hyung’s phone?” he said warily.

“Yup,” said Kibum cheerily. “You can delete that video, hyung. I’ve done all I wanted with it already.”

“How’d you manage to get it?”

“Snatched it during dinner.” Kibum sounded a bit too pleased with himself. “He didn’t notice a thing.”

“I didn’t know Jonghyunnie had a Princess Pink theme,” Jinki commented with creased eyebrows as he browsed through the phone menu.

Kibum drew back but not before the pair below him caught sight of his smirk. “He doesn’t,” he said airily. “I just downloaded it for him. There’s even a matching ringtone I set. He’s going to _love_ it.”

Minho stared at him. “Does this have anything to do with that insult about your pyjamas earlier?” he said suspiciously.

“I said I wasn’t going to let him get away with it.”

From outside, Jonghyun’s voice drifted in through the open door. “Hey, Taeminnie, have you seen my phone?”

 **  
**

**END**

**Author's Note:**

> Written after watching SHINee's Hello Baby Episode 4 [I think, can't remember] where the members [minus Key] acted out a drama they completely butchered, which had a scene where the hero [Minho] had to make out [he faked it XD but it was hot :P] with the heroine [Taemin]. Jonghyun recorded that scene on his phone, sneaky bugger [he was adorable though].
> 
> I like to TofuHo-lise everything :D


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